Oh my god, CLARE! (She says, as though we know each other, when in actual fact you have no awareness of me at all.) Cancelled was my fave podcast and I was so sad to hear it was ending, so am really happy to have stumbled across you on here. Welcome to Substack, fellow gossip hound!
On the mothering on social point, I am with you. I think there needs to be nuance, and to act as though there shouldn’t be just feels like a whole new way to put women down. I didn’t write for ages after my son was born because I was worried I would absolutely ruin his life forever if I shared anything about our lives together - I got over it mostly and now write about mum life almost exclusively, but every now and then the voices telling mothers to hide do start to get to me.
Are you aware that this post hasn’t showed up on your actual Substack page? It’s just posted to your profile? Just pointing out in case you didn’t know!
Sorry to have come across as such a creep. I’m tired and lost my filter in childbirth. You get it. Hope it cools down soon, the heat turns me into a raging bitch.
I didn’t know!! I need to figure out how to use Substack - I’m completely clueless! Thank you for pointing out. And yes I think we’re very hard on women sharing their experiences of motherhood and we shouldn’t be. Do we want total silence from mothers about parenthood?
I also binged Adolescence over the weekend. Absolutely brilliant and unlike any crime drama I’ve seen before. I think it illustrated how the Andrew Tates of the world can influence young men’s minds…but without saying so explicitly. Does that make sense? The devastation for the family just broke me.
Anyway, love your writing and I’m so glad today is much cooler!
Children soon tell parents if they do not want to feature on social media. My kids told me when they became teenagers that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was I to put up pics of them without their permission I tried to sneak one or two, and they then refused to ever let me take pics of them. Fair enough. But who am I without them? Nothing more to share then, until I get my own life!!
Cruising through Adolescence now. OMG. Also takes me back to the book Defending Jacob. The scene in episode 2 when the dad turns away from his son and then reaches to hug him? Gutted me. On a different note, I find the discussion of over diagnoses complicated. Bear with me on this please. I have had 3 different non-genetic cancers. Was I misdiagnosed once, and then ignored once? YES. But I do think that all the ads for medications on television/radio/etc is just too much. It just puts people in a different mindset. Hey I have a rash, maybe I have psoriasis? Plus google is not your friend. Nor social media. Someone’s Aunt Sue’s hairdresser’s niece used xyz to cure their abc. C’mon people. And not every period of being anxious or nervous means you have anxiety. Love to store your spices alphabetically and cannot complete the laundry list of things you need to do? Not necessarily ocd/add/adhd. Leave the medicine to the professionals. As before you give me things I need to know and things to think about. TYSM.
Thanks for the TV show tip! And if you’re interested in over- diagnosis this book Hippocrasy: How Doctors Are Betraying Their Oath by Ian Andrew Harris and Rachelle Buchbinder - two Australian Dr’s and experts in this is a great book that has reframed how I make medical choices for myself and the way I provide evidence based medicine for patients to make informed choices.
A great read, thank you! I’m new to your writing, but I’m going to assume Matilda is your child? At first I thought dog, perhaps because you were walking around the neighbourhood with her…
I binged Adolescence on Friday. Omg it was compelling and amazing. And frightening…
Made me think of the book ‘We Need to Talk about Kevin’ - a book I have never forgotten.
Love your writing Clare!
Absolutely brilliant. Omg yes that book is so creepy. Made me terrified to have kids!
Oh my god, CLARE! (She says, as though we know each other, when in actual fact you have no awareness of me at all.) Cancelled was my fave podcast and I was so sad to hear it was ending, so am really happy to have stumbled across you on here. Welcome to Substack, fellow gossip hound!
On the mothering on social point, I am with you. I think there needs to be nuance, and to act as though there shouldn’t be just feels like a whole new way to put women down. I didn’t write for ages after my son was born because I was worried I would absolutely ruin his life forever if I shared anything about our lives together - I got over it mostly and now write about mum life almost exclusively, but every now and then the voices telling mothers to hide do start to get to me.
Are you aware that this post hasn’t showed up on your actual Substack page? It’s just posted to your profile? Just pointing out in case you didn’t know!
Sorry to have come across as such a creep. I’m tired and lost my filter in childbirth. You get it. Hope it cools down soon, the heat turns me into a raging bitch.
I didn’t know!! I need to figure out how to use Substack - I’m completely clueless! Thank you for pointing out. And yes I think we’re very hard on women sharing their experiences of motherhood and we shouldn’t be. Do we want total silence from mothers about parenthood?
You’re welcome, looks like you’ve got it working now! I actually think a lot of society want exactly that. It’s such a shame.
I also binged Adolescence over the weekend. Absolutely brilliant and unlike any crime drama I’ve seen before. I think it illustrated how the Andrew Tates of the world can influence young men’s minds…but without saying so explicitly. Does that make sense? The devastation for the family just broke me.
Anyway, love your writing and I’m so glad today is much cooler!
Children soon tell parents if they do not want to feature on social media. My kids told me when they became teenagers that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was I to put up pics of them without their permission I tried to sneak one or two, and they then refused to ever let me take pics of them. Fair enough. But who am I without them? Nothing more to share then, until I get my own life!!
Cruising through Adolescence now. OMG. Also takes me back to the book Defending Jacob. The scene in episode 2 when the dad turns away from his son and then reaches to hug him? Gutted me. On a different note, I find the discussion of over diagnoses complicated. Bear with me on this please. I have had 3 different non-genetic cancers. Was I misdiagnosed once, and then ignored once? YES. But I do think that all the ads for medications on television/radio/etc is just too much. It just puts people in a different mindset. Hey I have a rash, maybe I have psoriasis? Plus google is not your friend. Nor social media. Someone’s Aunt Sue’s hairdresser’s niece used xyz to cure their abc. C’mon people. And not every period of being anxious or nervous means you have anxiety. Love to store your spices alphabetically and cannot complete the laundry list of things you need to do? Not necessarily ocd/add/adhd. Leave the medicine to the professionals. As before you give me things I need to know and things to think about. TYSM.
Thanks for the TV show tip! And if you’re interested in over- diagnosis this book Hippocrasy: How Doctors Are Betraying Their Oath by Ian Andrew Harris and Rachelle Buchbinder - two Australian Dr’s and experts in this is a great book that has reframed how I make medical choices for myself and the way I provide evidence based medicine for patients to make informed choices.
A great read, thank you! I’m new to your writing, but I’m going to assume Matilda is your child? At first I thought dog, perhaps because you were walking around the neighbourhood with her…
Hahahaha yes sorry - my 15 month old bubba!